DJ Harmony.

"I used a golf clicker"

"A golf what?"

"Clicker. It counts the strokes."

"And taught me to breathe"

This was the advice from a Canadian coach explaining how he learnt to breathe. Like belly breathe. The real deal. I immediately ordered one from Amazon.

I'm part of this global group of talented leaders, coaches. Humans. Meeting twice weekly, seeking and sharing experiences of flourishing and flowing. It was my turn to answer.

I start most days with breathing, grounding and meditation. Have for years. A process of re-connection starting with me first. To give us both the best chance of connecting.

It used to be about trying to balance the four realms of radical self-awareness - relational, philosophical, embodied, and civic. Like a possessed sound engineer trying to achieve the frequency level on a stereo equalizer. Proportioned. Symmetrical. Perfect.

If I could just balance all four realms perfectly, I'd transcend. Transform from what I am into the version you'd approve of. So I worked on all four constantly. Adjusting levels, fine-tuning frequencies, creating the ultimate mix for your ears.

Relational dial - turned high enough to show I cared deeply but not needy. Philosophical slider - elevated to prove depth, not pretention. Embodied channel - present enough to seem grounded, not self-obsessed. And the civic frequency - amplified to demonstrate selfless service minus the preachy philanthropy.

I was a dishonest DJ editing samples of myself for your playlist. Not mine.

We talk about balance like it makes us whole. Discussing it with colleagues, rating percentages against our "life-is-short" barometer. It's constant adjustment, monitoring. Heightened observation ensuring equanimity. Levelling up. Averting failure and the flatline.

Then I discovered harmony.

Harmony doesn't care about equal levels. In harmony, bass can boom while treble whispers. It’s an asymmetrical symphony most never understand but want to. Like jazz, not arithmetic.

Neuroscientist Joseph LeDoux reminds us, human existence is composed of nested realms - biological, neural, cognitive, conscious. They're not meant to be balanced. They're meant to move. Flow. Find their own rhythm based on what life presents right now. In this moment, with this breath.

That's harmony. That's human.

The equalizer still helps me visualize, but differently. I let levels dance, some rising, others dipping, creating not a perfect pattern but a living song. My song. Not for your approval but for the creation of my own mixtape.

Dr Clare Goodridge says it best: "Self-awareness is not self-indulgent. It is not a luxury. It is the bedrock of human flourishing."

Balance is a performance. Harmony a practice. And self-awareness is not about fixing your frequencies. It's about the freedom to finally play them.

All of them. The ones too loud for the boardroom. Too soft for social media. Too raw for the school gates. Too real for LinkedIn.

Your symphony isn't supposed to sound perfect. Or even acceptable. It's supposed to sound like you.

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