The evolving era of empathy.

"They cautioned you?"

"Yeah."

"But why?"

"Because I showed emotion in front of the student."

"And…?"

"I was told that was the wrong thing to do."

"What did you say to that?"

"I didn't agree but I would try not to do it again."

I recently had this conversation with a senior executive colleague. The confidential content isn't relevant, but the context absolutely is.

They were with a young person who had committed a crime. It wasn't pleasant, appropriate or lawful. My colleague's responsibility was to ensure the young person was returned safely to their country of origin.

Despite the young person's poor decisions, my colleague showed them respect, compassion and empathy. They didn't collude or condone, but they treated this young person with dignity when most would have offered disgust and dismissal.

It was potentially the last time an adult would show them such a care-full response. The country they originate from isn't known for its compassion. My colleague intuitively sensed they had the rarest of moments to role model a more humane way to help end their experience here.

My colleague was reprimanded for showing emotion when the young person broke down in regret and remorse. They were told it was inappropriate, unprofessional and not what-we-do-around-here.

Putting my CEO hat on, I get this. It can be infuriating to sit with a staff member who has broken boundaries with vulnerable others in the hope their over-disclosure may reach them.

I'd be lying if I didn't tell you, that was me too. In my early years, as a practitioner with lived experience that I wasn't yet able to consolidate or contain. Before the wisdom to know the difference between 'the work' and 'my work' was clearer to me.

But what if it was exactly what we started to do around here?

What if a professional response to human pain included actually... being more human? What if showing up authentically in difficult moments was rewarded, not rejected?

Brené Brown's research tells us that "our ability to be daring leaders will never be greater than our capacity for vulnerability." Google's Project Aristotle study found psychological safety was more critical to team success than anything else.

I've worked for leaders who create spaces where people can bring their whole selves to work - not just sanitised versions. Where showing emotion isn't viewed as weakness but wisdom. Where empathy isn't inappropriate but essential and where all parts are welcome, even the imperfect ones.

These leaders understand something profound: empathy isn't a weakness to manage but a strength to cultivate. It's not a professional liability but a competitive advantage - the foundation of psychological safety, innovation, and trust.

Maybe it's time we stopped apologising for our humanness and start celebrating it. Because in a world that is becoming more disconnected, showing someone they matter - even in their worst moment - might be the thing that saves them. And maybe us all too.

H2BH 008/365