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7 Days as a Solopreneur: The Truthful Reality No-one Wants To Talk About...
so, I guess I will.
May 26, 2025
I launched a business seven days ago.
The 72 hours leading up to it were an intense flow-state, fueled with Fred again.. 'fear less' inspired excitement, fist-air pumping confidence and the belief that anything and everything is possible.
I knew I was ready. I knew the time was right. I knew the moment was now.
And so I leapt, feet on the ground, head first into the unknown…
The Reality Hangover Nobody Warns You About
The very next morning, my mind woke me up before my body was ready.
All sense of excitement replaced by an undercurrent of doubt and worry. I did what had to be done, ticked boxes and put lines through completed task-lists written on giant post-it notes, wallpapering my office walls, because I do nothing small.
24 hours later, I woke up knowing the game had completely changed and stuttered six of the most debilitating words you can speak out loud to yourself, and at the same time swear never to another living soul:
"What the f&% have I done?"
And the reality of a 7-day solopreneur came fully into view along with more humanness than my ego and pride want to ever admit, and share with the world.
With no more offices, corporate credit cards, Finance and IT teams to support me or Toto’s to delegate to, I experienced the slightly-brutal reality that I wasn't in Kansas anymore.
It was then it hit me. Solopreneur is just a woke word for…
"I gotta do all of this alone."
It uncomfortably occurred to me that yes, given, there is no "I" in team, but equally there sure as hell isn't any team here for this "I."
Image: Dorothy and Toto from "The Wizard of Oz" (1939), Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer
Although wildly obvious, its highly confronting to experience first-hand there’s no HR department waiting to welcome and induct you on your first day. It’s genuinely panic-inducing to realise there’s no how-to rule book or let’s-go-do-this brochure, or someone to hand it to you when you decide to build something of your very own.
The Voice in Your Head That Threatens to Destroy Everything
As the days passed, the vulnerability, doubt, lack of and overwhelm didn’t subside. Truthfully, they multiplied.
Procrastination isn't a natural state of being for me, but distraction due to rampaging disbelief and disconnection is—and I found myself in a place of close-to-crippling avoidance as the pressure, (which with hindsight I discovered was being applied only by me) continued to mount.
If the weight of my self-inflicted and self-imposed expectation spoke, it would sound something like this:
"What the f&% made you think you could do this?"
"Why couldn't you just go and get a normal job like everyone else?"
"When will you f&%ing learn?"
"What will they say?"
"I can't do this!"
Sound familiar? It should. This is the voice that keeps 99% of people from ever starting anything new or taking the unknown leap into living their dreams.
And it gets louder once you do.
The Guru Trap and Rabbit Hole
Being a curious and cerebral human who seeks to more deeply understand what is going on within me and the counter reflection mirrored in my external world, I looked up the research. I was astounded to discover that a 2020 study in the Journal of Business Venturing found that 72% of entrepreneurs report mental health concerns—significantly higher than the general population. The same study revealed that self-doubt peaks not before launching, but in the critical first 30 days afterward.
Armed with greater understanding and data, I did what any seemingly-sane and rational human who just left the perceived safety and security of the 9-5 executive leadership world would do, and read a bunch of blogs and articles written by a select few uber wealthy online gurus, influencers and life-hackers with millions of followers.
Momentarily, I stopped breathing…
"Oh god, I've failed."
Enter stage left the sledgehammer-subtle art of comparison and bull-ant-bite of criticism as the final remnants of hope and happiness crawled undramatically across the stage, to the right, and well and truly out of my new home office door.
There was no energy left to close it, let alone slam it. It remained open as my entrepreneurial dreams, emotively and diva-like-dramatically threatened also to leave.
Everything I read told me I was doing it wrong and how I needed to do it better:
Be more of a sales person. Don’t do sales. Learn how to close leads. Get leads. Convert leads. Chase leads. Get AI to attract the leads. Get a closer to close the leads. Do you even need leads? Be the leads.
Do more. Do less. Want less. Have more. Be more chill. Be more obsessed. Be more obsessively and aggressively chill. Be less of something. Be more of nothing. Just BE, more.
Write, write, write and then write more. Go on my digital business course. Find a mentor, not a guru. Listen to me, even though I am not a guru. You need me. You need this. You NEED me as your guide and guru. You don't know what you're doing, let me show you how…
You'll fail without me. You'll not cope without this. And then, and only then will you succeed. You need money. Millions isn’t enough. I can make you rich, six-figures, no seven-figure incomes. $1M in 30 days! Sign up here, pay me this. What are you even waiting for!
This was me last night. Tightly knitted into a web of comparison and criticism that left me in an unnatural state of comparative paralysis, overwhelmed and unable to effectively think, problem solve or strategically resolve.
The greatest irony is that until very recently these were core functions of my position as a CEO which I achieved with significant skill, finesse and competency. The most devastating realisation of the many that have rudely and unwelcomely visited over the past 7-days was then revealed to me:
The skills that made me exceptional in executive leadership don't, won’t or can’t automatically transfer to leading and managing my own company.
They're there. But they're buried under layers of self-doubt, worry, comparison and criticism that weren't present in environments where my roles were previously clear, understood and validated by others.
As one of my favourite humans I’ve never yet met, Brené Brown teaches and perfectly articulates:
"Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it's having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome."
And I learnt and mined another invaluable gift and nugget of precious metal: nothing strips and threatens your control quite like launching your own business.
Once again, relying upon those way more learned than this newly-knighted solopreneurial rookie, I sought expert opinion based on credible evidence finding that Harvard Business Review research revealed that 83% of entrepreneurs experience imposter syndrome in their first year—regardless of previous leadership experience or success. Even more interesting, a 2023 MetLife study found that executives who transition to entrepreneurship report a 41% increase in decision paralysis during their first three months.
I breathed a little-less dramatically, inhaled and felt slightly less stupid, silly and naïve.
Ending the Comparison Spiral
In the midst of this pressure-cooked internal world interrogation, I witnessed my ego's somewhat desperate attempts to keep me safe and in control, feeling caught up in an endless cycle and spiral of fight-flight-freeze, convinced we are going to be eaten by a tiger any-minute-now if it doesn't do its job well. I observed the weaponising of our very own doubt, fear and overwhelm, compounded by an impending doom at the awaiting dream-crushing public exposure and ridicule I assume will follow.
Instinctively, I felt the urge to stop. And to breathe. It was the briefest of moments, yet it was the critical inhale that paused the pressure, stopped the spiral and allowed the answer to form and flow into my awareness and consciousness.
I checked in with myself and was led to turn off Spotify and turn on Insight Timer. I took the intuitive action, and there was the amazing @Carol Lawrence, a teacher I follow and most recently one of the powerful humans I’ve never yet met, but feel I somehow know, offering perfectly timed solutions and answers to problems and questions.
Minutes later, I knew I struck gold as she reminded me that being one amongst so many in the Insight Timer world of 20,000 teachers, comparing and competing isn't helpful, productive or necessary.
She went on to impart even greater wisdom garnered though extensive human experience, reminding that we cannot be anyone else but ourselves, and that it's simply a waste of energy and time to even try. She continued with an unguru-like quiet humility and calm confidence, teaching that the people who need and want what you uniquely have to offer the world, will find you.
Simples.
Like I tuned into her live at that very moment to hear exactly what she was intuitively and instinctively led to express to the Insight Timer community, intentionally not-competing with 19,999 other teachers.
And I did exactly that, at the precise moment I needed it most.
Image: Source unknown
Breaking the pattern of fear, overwhelm and doubtful thinking isn’t easy, nor is preventing the further spiraling into the endless canyon of self-criticism and comparison.
The Way Out and Through
I breathed intentionally again, grounding myself. No doubt by now you’ve picked up on the theme of how the power of a pause and the simplicity of a life-enhancing breath is the ultimate game-changer of them all for me.
I looked in the mirror and reminded myself what depths, widths and lengths it took to get to see, know, respect and love the image looking back. I reframed my week of struggle. I refocused, acknowledging that all I am choosing to do is use everything I have experienced and learnt in my life to offer to other humans wanting to know not only how to theoretically approach this work, but how to practically implement and live it. And then experience the results and rewards of consistently doing so.
I then recommitted to taking the next indicated and intuitive simple, small and courageous step.
The first step, although often the hardest for a reformed-perfectionist, higher-than-high achiever with skyscraper-scaling expectations like me, was to ask the people who love, care, encourage and support me in my life for help. And to tell them how I really was when they asked.
I stopped saying I was fine. I stopped wearing masks of togetherness.
I stopped struggling on my own. And I stopped feeling so alone.
I stopped long enough to remember what is important and chose to reconnect to it.
I then allowed myself the most human of all human experiences…
I cried. A lot.
I had days before, but I wasn’t going to tell you that until now because the last thing I want is for you to think of me as I once used to when I thought crying meant being weak, pathetic and unworthy.
Unsurprisingly, it relieved the pressure, eased the crippling fear and allowed a voice to the pain, which once heard, no longer hurt.
Speaking to others reminded me that my challenges, although unique to me are shared by many and more than we’re led to believe experienced, even if not spoken outside of closed doors and trusted rooms.
Humanness at its core
The sharing and normalisation of my first 7-days of solopreneuring allowed without even needing to necessarily accept, the gifted opportunity to first collegially partner with and then co-founder with all aspects of my humanness, which in turn allowed me to reconnect with both myself and the world and people around me, which in turn uncovered these invaluable human truths:
Your previous competence, capability and expertise that helped hundreds, thousand or even millions may feel completely irrelevant in this brave new world that scares you stupid.
There are many gurus, each offering a tiny slither of the huge pie and a shot at achieving ‘the dream.’ With discernment, listen to them, many are creative geniuses and brilliant business minds who can help you grow exponentially in incredible ways, but know they are selling you their solution, not your own
I can't be anyone else but me and whenever I’ve tried it’s never served me or you well. If people I don't know, along with those closest who know me the deepest are telling me the world needs what I have to offer, why would I chose to not believe them.
To trust my instinct and intuition. I have been the answer and solution to hundreds of humans without knowing it, and to a couple of handfuls that I do. More importantly, within me lies the answer and solution to every question and problem I’ll ever face.
There is the finest of lines between the energy and feelings of excitement and anxiety. Action and non-action (Wu Wei), when connected to self-wisdom are the antidotes and keys to both.
Money isn't the issue, nor is converting leads, it's defining your purpose and being courageous enough to allow and be all of it. The rest will follow.
Overwhelm, fragility and vulnerability isn't weakness—it's your humanness needing to be acknowledged, sat with and heard and that is your unique and ultimate superpower.
I haven't been brought this far, wide and deep to fall at the first hurdle. If I do, it won’t be about if, or where I finish, but about telling the world what I did to get up and keep running with a busted knee, as the whole point of being in the race.
Perhaps though, the most important realisation I was given is that almost every successful human, solopreneur, business owner, musician, writer, actor, artist, influencer and role model, whether famous or known, wealthy or poor that I admire experienced parallel feelings, headspaces and growing pains.
And at the end of each of the last 7-days, I was shown that the solution wasn’t another course, more letters after my name, paying another guru to mentor me, or creating and implementing a new spreadsheet or system.
It was humanness and reconnection.
Reconnection with the most human parts of myself that knew what to do before the fear, criticism and comparison took over.
And, that it’s not about ignoring reality. In fact, it’s super important to experience all of it and not deny any of it. All parts and states of human are welcome here.
What it is about is about recognising that disconnection from your essential humanness is what's creating the paralysis—not lack of knowledge or capability, and that taking actions founded on instinct, intuition and self-wisdom will lead you back, and on track to the path of remembering that you simply forgot that you already know.