101: Toilet Training.
“You have the most incredible toilets!”
“Thank you.”
“Really! I’ve never seen toilets like them before!”
“We think they are pretty great too.
“And your artwork, wow, what a collection!”
I’m in the foyer of Western Australia's largest company with an operating revenue of $54.9 billion. It’s 2011. Autumn. I’m one of 39 participants on the State’s “elite” leadership course.
This is my opening line to Richard Goyder. Surrounded by five peers nervously nodding. Sycophantically smiling. Obediently passing the relay baton of the things you are “supposed to” say.
To the CEO, of Wesfarmers.
There are expectations. We are ‘encouraged’, strongly to behave in a certain way. Adorn a casual coy conservatism in a dress of dignified decorum. There are ‘suggestions’ as to what we ask, how we ask. Whether we dare ask at all.
Each element expertly crafted. Masterfully managed. To ensure there are no lines, or wires crossed, faults or faux pas. Whilst looking organic, not staged.
And I, in an aura of awe from my bedazzling bathroom bushwhack, go straight in with the topic of toilets.
It was one of the most present, real and honest thoughts I’ve had in such a scenario. One of the bravest in the room I was reading. Contradictory in the company I was representing.
Perhaps appearing inexperienced, ill-timed and equipped, it was anything but. It was fiercely strategic, subtly sincere and conscientiously connecting.
It was real. IRL.
My peers did exactly what was expected: by society and the hierarchy. Dutifully and beautifully. With not a single hair, out of place.
But none of it felt genuine. Honest. Real.
Human.
In spite of the imposter syndrome that plagued me, I committed to start the 11-month elite, experiential leadership journey as I intended to end it:
As. Me.
Backing myself. Trusting my instincts, intuition and innate wisdom.
This man most likely spent his life surrounded by people reverently smiling, nodding like proverbial puppies. Asking the same questions. What they think he wants to hear. Ad infinitum.
I asked myself: Is this what anyone really wants?
I knew, in that moment, that real power isn't in asking perfect questions. It's in sharing honest human observations.
Even about toilets.
As did he. As his face changed and his CEO mask lowered. For about four minutes. Where Richard Goyder talked about those incredible toilets: the design philosophy, employee experience, why details matter.
On an equal level playing field.
One human to another.
Research shows authentic leaders create 5x more engagement than perfect ones. That vulnerability builds trust faster than competency. That the "pratfall effect" makes our imperfections endearing and engaging. Not damaging or detrimental.
We're often so busy performing leadership, we forget that being human IS the practice of living leadership.
After 11 months learning how to ask the perfect question, it took me less than four minutes to understand the imperfect answer:
Being real leads to connection.
And even Richard Goyder AO needs someone to talk toilets to.
H2BH 027/365
