MY time.

"You can't say that."

"Actually, I can."

"I'm sorry you feel that way"

"I understand it's not what you want to hear."

"I'm taking this further."

I'm sitting opposite a disgruntled staff member. In my office with designer art and inspirational quotes on the walls. Each human very different but the conversation always ends the same way:

It's "my right" to be promoted. "My entitlement" to a higher title, pay rate and package. "MY time."

Most employees think they know more. Some believe they can do your job better. A rare few will go to extreme lengths to prove it. Not through hard work, mastering the craft. Earning strategic stripes.

Instead, choosing a path of resistance whilst tarnishing the plight of the humble Caucasian ant. Or more accurately, the termite.

Employees lament toxic culture. Staff stress they want honest feedback. To be told the truth. But in my experience, as a lay-linguist what this actually translates to, is:

I only want feedback and accept your truth if it aligns with my own view.

Decades of leading and managing thousands of people can be summarised in one incredibly harsh for some, but truthful sentence:

Most humans are not meant to lead or manage others.

Ever.

My experience is backed by evidence with research highlighting companies select the wrong person for management roles 82% of the time. Managers are promoted due to excelling in previous, non-leadership technical roles, not through demonstrating genuine management potential.

Research consistently identifies only a small portion of people are naturally suited for such roles. Approximately 10% of people have innate 'natural-born leader' abilities. With another 20% only likely to succeed if given focused development.

The assumption that strong individual contributors will naturally be good managers, is deeply flawed.

Kat Stone is one of the most talented humans I've had the privilege to work alongside. An exceptional social worker, with an enviable gift for partnering with young people and their families. She just got it. Gentle, humble and strong. Egoless, she brought the best out in others.

Kat was asked to consider higher roles - to leave her clinical focus to lead and manage others. Acquiescing, she acted in a Team Leader role. Nailed it. This natural born leader. But when offered a significant promotion she politely, professionally declined. I'll never forget her profoundly wise words:

"Thank you so much for the opportunity but I love working with young people and they are what I am passionate about. This is what I am meant to do.”

Mic. Drop.

Kat knew something most never learn: the wisdom and difference between capability and calling.

She could lead. Exceptionally well.

But she chose not to.

While others clamour for titles they haven't earned, demanding promotions as birthrights, she quietly redefined and revolutionised what real leadership looks like:

Knowing when to say no.

The 82% failure rate isn't because we can't identify leadership potential. It's because we mistake ambition for ability. Hunger for skill. Volume for value.

So, here's the uncomfortable question: Are you fighting for a role because you're meant for it? Or because you think you deserve it?

One creates leaders. The other creates the very toxicity we claim is making us sick.

Sometimes the most powerful leadership decision you'll ever make is admitting you're exactly where you belong.

And just because you can, doesn't mean you should. Or are meant to.

H2BH 022/365